22 entries.
Loss - and all the consequences that tumble of of it - is a deprivation, something stolen. My Momma was was a happy person. And with everything she endured, she had to fight and scrap for happiness.
She taught me that being happy was a cause and not a consequence. She set the example of what love does instead of just how it feels. Momma taught me how to seek and produce laughter and joy and friendship even when they were lacking and in want. And that the best place to find all three is causing it to be in others. To have the worthwhile privilege of experiencing it in their life - the same way she did it in mine.
Momma showed me the sadness and disappointment that comes when
some people you meet don't understand love, or what a family is, or know that we all can make each other better if we talk to one another, break some bread and bare your heart a bit. She also showed me what to do with that sadness and disappointment - how it compels the inner me to be better, and to let others help me be better, to be better at doing my best to talk and eat and bare my heart a little more.
As Amy and I feel this loss, and I see my brothers and their wives, my sisters and their husbands, my Nanny and her kids feel this loss, and my spiritual family endure this tragedy - I remember why we feel this way: because we saw how Momma gave her last, how she pushed you to succeed, attempted to feed and cajole and laugh with people (that you knew) and she knew didn't like her for one reason or another, accepted you into her family which really meant into her heart, who whooped you out of love, who you saw trying to do her best to be her best... for you. For me.
But the greatest thing my Momma taught this son of hers was how to be a son of Jehovah. The last thing she wrote to me: "Don't let anyone take your joy from serving Jehovah". I thought then, as I do now, about the irony of her writing that because she was instrumental in helping me know that's never truly possible.
I lost. We are all deprived. My Momma stolen. What she caused though that still breathes and walks and talks on this earth is forever gained. You are a testament to that. I - in life or in death - will always be my Momma's Son; I cannot love her enough for that honor. And that shows me how to be happy.
Aunt Alice you will be truly missed I love you I'll never forget how you use to come study with us an was surprised I knew all the big words wish Ill be ready to see you again and never forget how we use to have to eat all our food now it's a must I clean my plate 😘😘😘😘see ya soon my love keep looking down on me guiding me on the right path of life all you showed was love an exceptance
Alice, your definitely one of a kind. You could truly see how much you loved your family and how much you loved your sons. I remember all the talks we had a out your sons, how proud you were of them and your grandchildren. You always talked so highly of your daughter in laws and how much you loved them. And all the other adopted family as well. You certainly brightened up the room when you walked in with your colors of dress and your big personality. I will miss you so much my sister and friend , I love you and cant wait to see you again soon.
Remember the Butterflies
